I dont know if i should end my fast tonight.... Ive only been without food for 73 hours and i could probably get away with not eating until tomorrow night.
My friend is coming over right now and i feel the strong need to binge.
I can eat spagetti and mac and cheese and i baked cookies and i have chips and onion dip and i really want a chilli dog!!
I would do it eat it all but im afraid the my friend will not allow me to purge.
She is bullimic and is a year and a half free of binging and purging but shes been telling me that she is in fear of relapse.
Im a horrible friend cus part of me wants her too. That way i wont be completly alone in this...
I want a friend who motivates me and keeps me from giving into food.
Ahh but i love her and dont want her to be caught in this cycle...
Today i realized i need to go shopping all my clothes are big big big!
My size zero jeans hang and i keep pulling them up.
I love it but i still want to be thinner. I want to see my ribs above my boobs... Still isnt happening yet.
I think it will in a few more weeks.
Well i gotta decide soon if i shall go another 24 food free or give in and puke it all away..
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